![]() When I set myself to do something, I begin criticizing myself for the smallest of mistakes I make. Why the hell am I deliberately looking for distractions, even when I am perfectly aware of how wrong it is? 15 minutes later I will find myself on 9gag. I always think "today will be the day I study". I didn't contribute much to any of the projects I did - which is why teammates don't respect me and never wanted to work with me again. This is how I spent two entire years of my grad school. I know how wrong it is, but I can't control it. After studying for 15 minutes, I might open 9gag (a meme posting website) or Reddit or YouTube - basically I deliberately start looking for distractions, even though I know I should be studying. I want to be a good programmer (I feel like I have the potential to be one), but I can't focus myself on that because I am always wasting my time doing LITERALLY nothing on the Internet. I like reading and sketching but I haven't done any of that in the last six years, because for some reason I waste too much time doing nothing on the Internet. There's so much that I want to do, but I can't because I can't focus myself on something for long enough. I need someone to tell me what's wrong with me, and what I should do to change it. I never considered psychiatric help before, but now I feel I seriously need some.
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